I could throw them all in the air, Frustrated, out of despair, I keep one here, I hide one there, They don't know they're everywhere! Roughly 99 Percent of all the times that I've cared.
Have left me emotionally vacant - And pulling out hair. I guess the honest truth - I'm a sucker for a dark derriere. Especially when they're screaming at me 'Buyer Beware.'
Selfish. I grew into a man with both my parents in prison. My entire life has been one lived in constant struggle, no wisdom. Hell is not a domicile I really like mentioning.
I took up Residence on Rock Bottom,
I didn't plan on just visiting. I can't even excuse all my behaivor on being clincally insane. The truth is I wore a certain composure, even though I was deranged.
Struggling. I'm constantly losing... I'd really like to try winnin' I need to cure my addiction,
To all these light-skinned women. Why does it seem as if the more and more I find myself sinnin' Practicing and preaching zero wisdom...
concurrently growing closer to prison... More and more of them introduce me to a friend, asking again, to get lost on top of white linens?
Ego. I tried so hard to make the headcount on my bed,
count to match the thread count I laid down. Understanding everything I say, speaking different languages and sounds.
Could you last round after round, With the Heavyweight champ, Pound for a pound? Chase your mind across the galaxy and then crashland on the ground...
Incorrect, we never dated.
You were just serenaded by tubas and trumpets - settle down.
Only I could be a Pisces who figured out how to drown.
Only I could turn an orchestra creating beautiful sounds. To me singing acapella nobody else comes around. Only I could have an instrument that makes beautiful music. And have to play all alone, because I had to abuse it. That's why selfish mother fuckers receive a gift and then lose it.
And still, look into a mirror and can feel altruistic Addiction
I've bought about a hundred tickets to that symphony. Woken up to a hundred more epiphanies. My Guardian angel needs a break, or three. She can't scold me on things that she can't see. I might have consumed way too much extasy... Yes, I did so deliberately.
Me, and she - we danced till three... A night that would go down in history! In her bed, we'd create serendipity. The morning will come before she's noticed I've fleed... I know, I'm a massive inconsistency, I need to find some positive philosophy,
But that's so hard living as a median to mediocrity. I just want to learn to love and respect the reflection I see. Stop absorbing everything, Start returning fire, stop deflecting, just breathe. Gradually, the more you do that you start to believe. That what used to be impossible is now within reach.
Listen, I'm really not the type that likes to stand up and preach. It's just that I've learned some tough lessons that I feel I can teach. Being a decent man might actually be within reach. But I should just focus on escaping my twenties. Instead, the only thing I care about is making sure I outlast her It's going to take the man in me to stride steps swifter and faster. But I'll be damned if being a good man isn't the art I will master. Patience
Patience is a virtue,
I have none, virtually. Please pardon me, for all you've had to read. I search for truth and I'm lost, I'm so lucky to be alive. A part of me died just trying to survive. When I look in the mirror I see a failure, But inside, I swear there's a god! Lost an orchestra thinking I could sing acapella, I gave up and just bought an iPod.
I hated my name. What it has grown to become. There's a good man hiding inside me, But I'm still scrubbing off scum. If I begged and asked you please, Would you hear my empty pleas? PLEASE! Wearing version three is the last thing that I need! My grandfather was the first to pollute the Joseph Wilson I.V But it was junior and I who really fell far from the tree. They would be my father and me... We're like a pod with no peas. We turned a small band-aide bleed To massive hemorrhaging, internally. I will be the Joseph who sets that name free. Releasing my son from that agony. My name carried a power lost underneath lock and key Survived stay in a few federal penitentiaries. To planting a smile on my face sharing that seed. To be so proud of something and have my sons see. This world is made of things that we really don't need. You have magic inside you, that hardest part's to believe. Look at me - I'm turning my lifes hardest lessons into books that you'll read.
Eventually, I'm going to find all these answers that allude me. I'll repair the branches broken from my family tree. I will stop pretending that if you cut me I won't bleed. Life has humbled me, enough so it might be time that I concede... You know what,
People just let me breathe! I need to find some peace. If I'm already dead to you, let's just pretend that I'm deceased. I mean, you're all dead to me... Let's just play a little game. I'm going to kill the coward I am, starting now. Pretend you never knew my name.